Don't be sorry... he's kinda a big deal

 I love my life with Javad. It's comical though. It's funny to talk about him now that I am in this place that knows nothing of him. I haven't seen anyone in a chair on campus or anything like that and so sometimes it feels like I'm talking about him and I get the "he's in chair >.<" look, as if that is some strange anomaly. Maybe it is an anomaly here...

I remember when Javad was a baby and I would talk to people about it. My speil always seems the same, "he's an amazing kiddo but seems like a lot. He uses a power wheelchair for mobility, uses a vantage speech board to talk, which is like a computer that he types into and it talks for him, and he's on a ventilator part time. He's a really amazing kid though." I get this, "HOW IS THAT NORMAL" look most of the time, which is comical. What always seems to catch them is the chair. "Did he ever walk?" "Will he ever walk?" As if walking is the end all be all.... It really isn't, just in case you were wondering.

I haven't ever cared if Javad could walk or not. I mean, do I have dreams where he's running around? Of course. Do I have my moments where I wish I could chase after him like I did Simon? All the time. But him walking was never a priority. I want to know that he is going to be breathing. I would love if he could talk. I would love to have him share a bowl of ice cream with me while we watch a movie. Sure I would love if he could come and curl himself up into my lap (though the image of him doing it he is always about 2 years old, looking like my nephew does now except with Javad's face, and he never grows up). But I can still chase after him in his chair. I can still snuggle up with him. I still have him. That's what it's important. So keep calm, it's just a wheelchair... it's the least of my worries!