Interrupting ableism...

I work in social justice education. I don't know if it's because of Javad, or if it's just what I was always meant to do. I practice what are called interruption, which are interrupting oppressive language and ideas and encouraging others to replace them with other language. I've gotten fairly good at it over the year, at least I tend to think so. However, there is one interruption that rarely comes with compassion or stealth and it is that of the word retarded. 

There is no word in the English language I hate more then that one. I didn't use to hate it so much. Not really until Javad. I remember my sophomore year of high school, Javad was two, turning three, and still didn't talk (guess what all these years later he still doesn't) and someone asked me if he was retarded. I got so activated, like I didn't understand how someone could assume such a thing based on his lack of oral communication. Taking a step back it wasn't about the communication, it was his whole package they were commenting on. Like him having MTM, and their perception of mental retardation, made him less of a person, but more that they could use it as a reason not to try to understand him and his communication style. Even more, it's that his disability DEFINED him, instead of allowing it to be a part of him. Still, all these years later I want to punch people when I hear them say it. I hate that word. 

The other one that gets to me is lame. Yet there is a part of it that makes me smile. When people outside the muscular dystrophy and alternatively abled community use it I get up in arms, it's just part of my nature, but there is something heart warming about hearing one of my kids at camp, or in the mtm community refer to things as lame. Especially because, of a population to understand not being able to use their legs, or to lack mobility and actually be lame, they're it. That said, I still don't use it. As a sister, an ally, a friend, I can't use those words and feel like I'm actually supporting them.

It breaks my heart a little when I hear people in this community use words like retarded (even typing it makes me uncomfy) and lame to describe things, like "wow my meeting was r-word" hurts my soul. Like they haven't thought about how that word has been used to disenfranchise and disempower the people we love. Maybe they haven't thought about it, and if you haven't I'm not saying you're bad, I am just very intentional because even being in this community, especially being in this community I would never want to say something that would stir up old, or new, hurtful, raw emotions.

In my perfect world they wouldn't exist. I just wish/hope people will understand when I explode for them using those stupid words...

If you've never watched this video before please do. It is one of the best interruptions of the r-word I've ever seen: 

 

For so much of this I could easily substitute Javad's name... and that breaks my heart. This before you speak because you never know who's listening.